All the Pieces to the Puzzle
by Madrigal of Rose
Summary: Right after Feyre is taken to see the Bone Carver for the first time she starts to wonder on some of the things she said along with other odd coincidences that start to seem like a puzzle she almost can see the answer to.


"Amren's right," Rhys drawled when we arrived at the town house. "You are like dogs, waiting for me to come home. Maybe I should buy treats." He was speaking to Cassian, Azriel, and Mor in the sitting room.

I didn't listen to the rest of their banter as I strode towards the fireplace, hoping to dislodge the chill from the damp cold that had sunk into my bones from the Prison. Taking up residence in an armchair right next to the fireplace, I checked my mental shields and then turned my thoughts inward. Something had been nagging at me since I had spoken to the Bone Carver. Not something it had said, but something I had. Parts of what I had said cycled through my head again and again.

 _A thread. A tether… Suddenly I could see. Not through my eyes, but his. Clinging to the thread of our bargain. I followed that bond back – to me. I knew that home was on the other end of it._

It didn't make sense, what I had said. I had clung to the bargain bond and that had allowed me to see through Rhys' eyes. That part made sense. But I had followed that bond out of the darkness. I had spoken truth when I had said I had followed that bond towards home. It had felt like home, or however home was supposed to feel. It had been a promise and warmth, comfort, and love I had followed out of the darkness. Towards home. My body, I had meant to the Bone Carver, but the thought occurred to me when we left that I wasn't on the other end of the bond, Rhys was.

I felt like I was on the edge of figuring out why my mind had snagged on those words, but the words the others were saying caught my attention again.

"He likely remembers our allegiance to the humans in the War, anyway," Cassian said. "He wouldn't jeopardize revealing his plan while trying to sway you, and I bet some of Amarantha's cronies reported to him about Under the Mountain. About how it all ended, I mean."

I knew what he was talking about. About Rhys trying to kill Amarantha. Something about that nagged at my mind too, pushing me closer to that edge. But it seemed they were making plans that were going to involve me, so I lowered my hands from the fire and turned my full attention away from that edge and towards the conversation taking place in front of me.

Rhys and the others were gone that night—where, no one told me. But after the events of the day I was glad for the silence in the house. I devoured the food Nuala and Cerridwen had brought to my room and I had every intention of falling asleep immediately after, but I couldn't. I laid in the bed staring out the open windows to the beautiful night sky beyond. Without realizing it, my thoughts had turned inward again.

Words swirled around my head. _Not my eyes, but his. Clinging to the thread of our bargain. I knew that home was on the other end of it._ They accompanied an image of Rhys throwing himself at Amarantha repeatedly trying to kill her while she killed me. I could hear him screaming my name again and again.

More memories echoed of Tamlin begging Amarantha, but not actually fighting for me until I had died. Of the Spring Court and how it hadn't felt like home those months after Under the Mountain. Of looking up at the night sky for comfort after nightmares that had made me ill. Of older memories. Of swimming in the pool of starlight that had been the first time I had been happy in a very long time. Of painting the night sky on my dresser drawer in our hovel.

When I finally did sleep, it was filled with horrible dreams of a long bone carved with my horrible face twisted in agony, an ash knife, and the bloodied corpses of the two faeries I had killed.

When I jolted awake it was to the watery gray light of morning and a roiling stomach, but my food stayed down. A moment later Rhys knocked on the door and entered as I mumbled out permission. He chucked a belt with knives down on the bed and proceeded to yank my fighting leathers out of the armoire. It appeared we were in a hurry.

I asked questions, but not the question that plagued me. Why? Certainly he had to know why home hadn't been my own body. Or why the bargain had been able to hold me in this world, had allowed me to see through his eyes. Why was I even thinking like this? There had to be an answer and I was almost certain that Rhys held the answer.

Then Rhys was kneeling before me with the knives to help me into the belt. I tried hard to ignore the brush of his hands against my thighs but something deep in me responded to it: his touch and the image of him kneeling before me. I didn't have time to give it thought as he turned his talk to my powers and the Weaver of the Wood.

"So I'm your huntress and your thief?" I demanded as he finished buckling me in. His hands slid down to cup the back of my knees as he stared up at me, a roguish grin on his beautiful face.

"You are my salvation, Feyre," he told me. For some reason I didn't think he was talking about this object we were retrieving, the Book of Breathings, or nullifying the Cauldron.

Those words echoed in my head along with the others as we winnowed to an ancient wood. Another part of the mystery of whatever my mind was trying to piece together. But it was a distraction I couldn't risk at the moment. I had a task at hand and needed to focus on it.

"Cassian tried to convince me last night not to take you. I thought he might even punch me." Rhys recaptured my full attention again.

"Why?" I hardly knew Cassian at all. I had only met him twice.

"Who knows? With Cassian, he's probably more interested in fucking you than protecting you."

"You're a pig," I said just to deflect my disgust at the idea of sleeping with Cassian on to Rhys instead.

"You could, you know," Rhys told me. "If you needed to move on in a physical sense, I'm sure Cassian would be more than happy to oblige."

Another wave of disgust hit me along with something that felt like jealousy nipping at the edges of my mind. Out of the corner of my eye I caught the slightest look of annoyance that smoothed itself from Rhys' eyes in time with the feeling. I realized the feeling possibly didn't come from me, but from Rhys. This bond between us had given him my feelings and thoughts before, why not the other way around?

"Then tell him to come to my room tonight," I crooned. Another flash of jealousy along with barely contained primal rage. It settled again into nothing more than an ache.

"If you survive the test." Rhys spoke, his voice a little strained.

"You seem pleased by the idea that I won't." I teased. Or rather he would be pleased I wouldn't sleep with Cassian if I didn't survive.

"Quite the opposite, Feyre." He prowled towards where I had paused on a lichen-crusted rock. I was almost eye level with him and I could almost see stars and galaxies swirling in the depths of his violet eyes. It was beautiful.

"I'll let Cassian know you're… open to his advances." The words were stilted and I had no doubts it was because he certain did not wish to tell Cassian to come anywhere near me.

"Good," I said, meaning it less about him telling Cassian and more about what I had confirmed with Rhys. A bit of hollowed-out air pushed against me, caressed me, like a flicker of night. That power along my bones and blood stirred in answer to it. In answer to Rhys' power. Another piece of a puzzle that was starting to form an answer to my questions.

Then Rhys was holding my chin in a move too fast to detect. "Did you enjoy the sight of me kneeling before you?"

The words brought the image to life again and I knew he could hear my heart ratcheting in my chest. Along with those words came another powerful wave of jealousy and… something primal and dominating.

"Isn't that all you males are good for, anyway?" I asked trying to grapple with whatever that primal instinct was. It seemed to be screaming at the edges of my mind: _Mine! Mine! Mine!_ Then it smoothed away again, and he gave me a sensuous smirk before stalking off into the woods. The question stirred again, another piece of the puzzle falling into place. It was maddening enough that I stalked after Rhys with every intention of just demanding an answer here and now.

But he stopped and held up a hand right before a clearing with a small whitewashed cottage. Whatever strain of thought I had tumbled from my head at the very ordinary, almost mortal sight in front of me. Faintly I could hear singing coming from the cottage.

Rhys turned to me and mouthed a small _good luck_ before I stalked past him. I turned once to offer him a vulgar gesture but he was already gone, though a flash of amusement trickled down the bond.

I didn't think anymore on what I had felt from him, what those questions were as I dealt with the Weaver. As I barely escaped with my life. As I ran through the trees trying to escape the Weaver and practically begging for Rhys to be somewhere nearby. My lungs were so raw I thought they might actually be bleeding by the time I reached Rhys where he lounged on a tree branch.

He winnowed the last few feet to me and wrapped around me. I knew it was only to winnow us away but the feeling of him around me soothed the panic coursing through my body, anchoring me even as we free fell a moment outside the House of Wind before his wings appeared.

He flew us into the War Room where Cassian and Amren were talking, but at the sight of my state they froze. I caught sight of myself in a mirror along the wall. I was scratched, bloody, and covered in dirt and grease – boiled fat—and mortar dust, the hair stuck to me, and I smelled like cooked meat. But beyond the image of me was Rhys looking me over with concern shining in his eyes as I panted.

"You kill her?" Cassian demanded.

"No," Rhys answered for me. I was grateful because I needed a moment to simply breathe and deal with the fallout of what had just happened. "But given how much the Weaver was screaming, I'm dying to know what Feyre darling did."

I vomited as I remembered what I had done, what was on me. Amren cleaned it from the floor and the mess from me with a wave of her hand but I caught the concern flickering at the edge of my mind once more.

I told them what happened, listened to Cassian and Rhys argue over the stupid ring I had retrieved. Made my plea to Cassian for training because I knew I would need it. I needed to be able to have more than the option of running. Then the need for quiet and a bath hit me so hard my knees buckled. Rhys was there instantly, wrapping around me and flying us out of the House of Wind before he winnowed us directly into my bedroom.

"What about training your other gifts?" He asked when all I wanted to do was find my way to the bath that beckoned me beyond the bathroom door.

"I think you and I would shred each other to bits," I told him and I wasn't sure I was just talking about training my powers.

"Oh, we most definitely will." He leaned against the doorframe and I knew then that he wasn't just talking about training my powers either. An image of him kneeling before me again flashed in my mind again. "But it wouldn't be fun otherwise."

I was still trying to tear my focus from him kneeling before me, no longer helping me into the belt of knives but helping me out of the midnight bits of lace he had fished out of my drawers for me earlier.

"You feel it, don't you," he said over the burbling and chittering garden birds. And I did feel something, some sort of pull towards Rhys. Something that made me want to claim him. "Your power, stalking under your skin, purring in your ear." He clarified but all I could think of was him purring in my ear.

"So what if I do?" I demanded, and he had the nerve to simply shrug.

"I'm surprised Ianthe didn't carve you up on an alter to see what that power looks like inside you." He answered.

"What, precisely, is your issue with her?"

"I find the High Priestesses to be a perversion of what they once were—once promised to be. Ianthe among the worst of them."

A knot twisted in my stomach. There had to be a reason that he said that about Ianthe in particular. "Why do you say that?"

"Get past my shields and I'll show you."

I threw myself down the bond that beckoned to me knowing that Rhys was on the other side. The word _Home_ echoed again in the depths of my mind. I found his shields and found no way through. However I had done it before was beyond me. As I tried to rally myself Rhys continued to explain the perversion of the High Priestesses. He dangled the information about Ianthe in front of me to tempt me again and again until I lunged blindly and wildly at his shields.

"Just for trying…" he said with a chuckle and took my hand. The bond between us went taut, the thing under my skin pulsing, that question pressed again, and –

I was livid. Utterly livid at Ianthe sprawled out on Rhys' bed. At her attempt to seduce him. At her speaking about his and her offspring. At her attempt to touch him even after he had dismissed her. My mind screamed at her.

"Rule one," Rhys told me as I was all but thrown from his mind. "Don't go into someone's mind unless you hold the way open."

"When was that? " I tried to ask.

"A hundred years ago. At the Court of Nightmares." He delved into what had happened then and I understood why he hated her so much. "Rule two. Be prepared to see things you might not like."

I raised my head to ask him more but he had winnowed away, leaving me to my bath and my thoughts. I mulled over the imagine of what he'd shown me. That hand again and again reaching between his legs. The ownership and arrogance of the gesture— the more I thought on it the more I wanted to go back and destroy Ianthe. How dare she do that to Rhys? How dare she try and touch my mate?

The water went cold as my mind stilled on those words. My mate. An answer to what I had been dancing around for the last few days. An answer to all the whys and all of the memories that were running together in a constant loop of thought in my head. Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, was my mate.

Did he know? An image flashed in my mind of him standing on the balcony before he left Under the Mountain. Of him saying goodbye to me. His eyes had met mine, his pupils had blown wide, and he had stumbled, actually stumbled back and disappeared. That had been the moment he had learned. Had been the moment he had realized I was his mate. And he hadn't said a damned thing about it. Hadn't done anything to claim me.

Tamlin had told me the bond would be between me and him, because after everything we had been through, we had to have been fated to be together. But no bond had come there and it had not been a matter of waiting, because it hadn't been Tamlin's bond. I had already been bonded to Rhys. But, again, he hadn't done anything with it. What did he want of me?

Part of me wanted to hunt down Rhys right now and demand answers but I needed to know my own mind first. I knew enough of Rhys that he would question me too.

What did I want? I had only left Tamlin a few days ago. It was too soon to think of another relationship. Traitor and whore echoed through my mind. But that relationship had been dead and rotting for some time. Rotting away more and more with every time Tamlin had imposed his will over mine. Every time Tamlin had denied me choice. Every time he had left me to my nightmares and to hurl up my guts each night. Had been buried the moment he had locked me in the house and had failed to understand how it would break me. There was no returning there. I wasn't going back to Tamlin. He was too broken to accept that I was no longer the girl that had gone Under the Mountain for him.

But what did I want of Rhys? I wasn't sure I wanted much. He had given me a job, a purpose. That alone was much better than being stuffed into gowns and bearing children for Tamlin. But wouldn't that be a requirement of being Rhys' mate too? He didn't seem the type to require that with how he was using me now, but would things change if we were officially mated? Time and answers, I decided. I needed those before I could decide what I truly wanted.

As I decided to lay down and rest, I wondered if Rhys even wanted a mate. Perhaps that was why he hadn't said anything. After what Amarantha had done to him I wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted anyone else to touch him again. Would I be bringing up bad things by wanting to talk about it at all? I didn't know and the thoughts plagued me the rest of the day and all night.

Word still hadn't come from Summer in the morning so Rhys decided it was a good time to go to the mortal realms to see my sisters. With my mind still focusing on Rhys being my mate and this not being the best time to speak about it, I chose to fly with Azriel. I doubted my self-control to keep my thoughts to myself. If any of the males were surprised they said nothing despite the frown that Rhys gave me, as if he could feel something had changed.

I barred those thoughts from my head as I dealt with my sisters, made our plea to them, and forced my way through an unpleasant dinner. I barred those thoughts away as we shared a room. Even as I thanked him for warming the bed. Even as I told him Amarantha hadn't suffered enough for what she had done to him. Even as we discussed my family and then my birthday and he pointed out one more thing. I was born on the longest night of the year. Fated to be with the High Lord of Night.

I kept those thoughts to myself trying to think of how to approach the subject even the next morning as we stood in the forest to start my lessons. Even as he left me alone to try and light the candle on my own. I had been honest when I had told him I couldn't concentrate on training with him right there. I couldn't concentrate because all I wanted to do was talk about what it might mean for us now that I knew we were mates.

He left me with a comment about rubbing the tattoo against certain parts of me to make him come faster. Before I could respond he had been gone. Part of me wondered if that flirting meant he wasn't as concerned about a physical relationship after Amarantha.

It was harder to keep those thoughts locked down when Rhys and I exchanged notes. _Life is better when you're around._ He had written in one. That one had made me smile. Maybe they could work as mates, in time. I sent him a reply back. _You're a shameless flirt, Mate._

I waited with baited breath as it disappeared from my hand, as I held my hand out staring at my palm for some sort of response from him. I was so focused that I didn't notice the presence behind me until a hand wrapped around my mouth and yanked me clear off of my feet.

I thrashed, biting and clawing, shrieking as whoever it was hauled me up.

I tried to shove away, snow churning around us like dust on a road, but the arms that gripped me were immovable, like bands of iron and—

A rasping voice sounding in my ear, "Stop, or I snap your neck."

I knew that voice. It prowled through my nightmares. The Attor.

I went pliant in its arms, trying to buy a wisp of time to scan for something, anything to use against it. It started to his in my ear whatever question it wanted answered.

Night exploded around us. The Attor screamed as the darkness swallowed us and I was wrenched from its spindly, hard arms, its nails slicing into my leather. I collided face-first with packed, icy snow. I rolled, flipping back, whirling to get my feet under me— The light returned and I rose into a crouch, knife angled.

And there was Rhysand, binding the Attor to a snow-shrouded oak with nothing but twisting strands of night. I watched as he questioned the Attor, his face as cold and beautiful as death. Watched as he extracted answers until Azriel slammed into the snow sending it flying.

"Will he kill him?" I said, my puffs of breath uneven.

"No." I shivered at the raw power glazing his taut body. "We'll use him to send a message to Hybern that if they want to hunt the members of my court, they'll have to do better than that."

I started—at the claim he'd made of me, and the words. "You knew- you knew he was hunting me?"

I was so angry. I hurled words at him like weapons. He had used me as bait. I shoved my hands into his chest and he stumbled back from the strength of the blow. I blinked. I'd forgotten- forgotten that strength in my panic.

"Yes, you did," Rhys snarled at me. His icy calm shattered. "You forgot that strength, and that you can burn and become darkness, and grow claws. You forgot. You stopped fighting." He didn't just mean the Attor. Or the Weaver.

Rage rose up in me at everything, at myself. "So what if I did?" I shoved him again. "What if I did?" I went to hit him again but he winnowed away. Only a few feet. "It's not easy!" I yelled as I stalked over to him.

He winnowed away again. "You have no idea how not easy it is." He growled and I knew he was talking about being my mate. He didn't want the bond. I had misread everything. And that made me angrier. I wanted to hit him. To strike at him with the pain I was feeling. He kept winnowing away. As I made talons appear and bounced off a tree. As I folded myself into wind and shadow and dust tracking him through the folds of the fabric of the world until he appeared in front of me, a solid figure in my world of smoke and stars. His eyes were wide, his mouth split into a grin of wicked delight, as I winnowed in front of him and tackled him into the snow.

" _Don't,_ " I snarled at him, " _ever,_ " I pushed his rock-hard shoulders, talons curving at my fingertips, " _use me as bait again._ " Those were the words I said, but I wanted to be angry about so much more. Don't lead me on again. Don't flirt with me if it was so damn no easy to be mated to me. I didn't ask for this bond.

He stopped laughing and I pushed harder. My nails dug into his leathers. Then I realized how much bigger he was than me. I hadn't realized it until our bodies were flush against each other in the snow.

"Do it again. Show me how you did it," he pressed when I moved off of him.

"No." I told him. "I want to go back to the chateau." I was cold, and tired, and he'd used me.

His face turned grave. "I'm sorry." I wondered how often he said those words. I didn't care. Not anymore.

"Let's eat breakfast, then go home."

"Velaris isn't my home." I saw hurt flash in his eyes before he spirited us back to my family's house. But Velaris wasn't my home. My home had been with Rhys but being mated to me wasn't easy. Wasn't want he wanted. I was a pawn, a tool, and nothing more.

I had only been in Velaris for an hour when Rhys found me. I scanned him for injury and something loosened in my chest when I found him unharmed.

"I want to know everything," I said, and Rhys had obliged by giving me access to his memories once more. There were many questions that came from that memory but one that held her. "What situation with Spring?" She demanded. He explained and she tilted her head considering. "I need to write a letter."

It took her a while to pen the letter to Tamlin. Not because of my former illiteracy. No, I could now read and write just fine. It was becaue of the message that Rhys, standing in the foyer, now read with my permission:

 _I left of my own free will_

 _I am cared for and safe. I am grateful for all that you did for me, all that you gave._

 _Please don't come looking for me. I'm not coming back. I am with my mate._

It was the last line that was damning. The last word that would break whatever was left between me and Tamlin. And now Rhys was reading it and she saw something flicker in his gaze as he scanned the letter once more.

"Are you sure you want to send this?" He asked.

"I am no one's pet," I said. His face turned contemplative, and I wondered if he was considering what that meant with me as his mate. "What next?"

"For what it's worth, I did actually want to give you a day to rest—" he rubbed a hand at the back of his neck.

"Don't coddle me."

"I'm not. And I'd hardly call our encounter this morning rest. But you will forgive me if I make assessments based on your current physical condition." He made a show of looking me over once more. "I think we need to discuss some things."

"The Book of Breathings?" I asked.

He nodded and explained about going to the Summer Court again. Then he stopped talking and seemed to look me over again. No doubt waiting for me to trudge back upstairs to sleep. But I didn't want to sleep anymore. I had slept enough.

"You told me that this city was better seen at night. Are you all talk, or will you ever bother to show me?" I demanded. A low laugh as he looked me over. I didn't recoil from his gaze. Then his eyes found mine again, his mouth twisting into a smile she knew few ever saw. Real amusement danced on his face. Happiness edged in relief.

"Dinner," he said. "Tonight. Let's find out if you, Feyre darling, are all talk—or if you'll allow a Lord of Night to take you out on the town."

It wasn't until after dinner, as we walked home, the others having left us, that I felt completely at ease next to Rhys. I wanted to break the comfortable silence between us to figure out what this back and forth between us was, but he didn't seem too inclined to speak until we paused on a bridge that peered out at the Rainbow.

"We should talk at some point," he sighed.

"About?" I hoped I knew the answer but I wanted him to say it, so I wouldn't misunderstand any part of it this time.

"About the title you've given me twice over now," he turned to face me fully and I was struck again by how beautiful he was. "When did you figure out we are mates?"

"The other night, after you showed me what happened with Ianthe," I admitted. Slowly I traced a hand over the arching stone of the bridge's railing to try and ground myself on the feel of the smoothed stone. "What does it mean for us?" I asked, glancing at him.

"That's what we need to discuss," Rhys offered. Then he straightened from where he leaned on the railing and offered his arm to me again. "You have a choice, Feyre, in whether you want this or not. I'll respect your wishes."

"If I don't want this, what happens?" I asked as I felt him flinch.

"We continue on as we are," he replied, his voice as bland as possible.

"And if I do?" I asked. Part of me wanted to hear him say he wanted me even though I had just left Tamlin, even if it made me a whore.

"Then we have the bond declared, and then continue on as we are," he replied, a slight bit of relief in his voice that hadn't been there before.

"I'll still be your huntress and thief?" I pressed. "You won't stuff me in a gown and hide me away to plan parties and bear your children?"

Rhys froze and turned to face me completely. He gripped my chin and forced me to look up into his star flecked violet eyes. "I will never take your choices away from you. If you want to hunt the Book of Breathings, then I won't stop you. I might even encourage you since it helps meet my needs at the moment. I will never dictate what you wear. Yes, there will be parties to plan but it is your choice if you want to be part of planning them. If so, you need to try and wrestle control from Mor."

I smiled at that. The bubbly blonde likely had quite the hand at party planning. I almost doubted I would ever want to wrestle control from her. And I truly doubted she would ever treat me as Ianthe had if I did wish to step in and help.

"As for children," Rhys breathed out. "Fae children are a rare and beautiful thing. I would be honored to be blessed with a child, but I would never force you. If you choose not to have children, then I will support that." His cheeks flushed ever so slightly. "I believe I could be very happy if I just had you for the rest of eternity."

My breath caught at the admission. He wanted this. More than wanted it, but he wasn't about to force it on me. The flirting was real. The desire I sometimes saw on his face was real. And I knew what he was offering was real. If I were to choose to accept the bond, he wouldn't force me into the role Tamlin tried to force me into. He wouldn't try to make me fit where I did not.

The first strains of a song were taken up by a quartet nearby and my ears twitched. I recognized the music. It had come to me in the cell Under the Mountain when I had been just about to fall apart completely. I looked up at the male in front of me and I knew in my heart where it had come from.

"You were breaking," he whispered, guessing at what I was thinking about. "I couldn't find another way to save you."

"Thank you," I whispered back. I contemplated a moment, remembering we had yet to finish our previous conversation. "I think I need time to decide what I want to do." To decide if I indeed wanted Rhysand.

"Take all the time you need," Rhys gave a small bow. Then he swept me into his arms and flew me home. I could learn to love it, I realized. The flying. And possibly this bond between us.

 **A/N: Written for a request. Feel free to send me requests.**


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